Just A Little Care
by JinxPrincess13
Summary: Morishige's always suffered from the odd mental illness, but between being bullied and his mother telling him his dreams are not to be followed, he finds himself worsening to a dangerous degree. Two friends desperately try and help lift him out of this dark pit of depression. Has mentions of self harm, abuse and attempted suicide. AU in which they never went to Heavenly Host.


Whoever was in charge of security at that hospital was an idiot. It had been far too easy to sneak out while his mother went on and on about all the 'horrible things' he did when 'upset', and threatened to have him sectioned when she thought he wasn't listening. He knew the basics of being sectioned. Locked on a ward, away from his friends. The last thing he needed was more separation and ostracising. It hadn't even been that bad to begin with. It wasn't like he was trying to kill himself. Just a little scratch to help relieve the pressure and pain. He'd been caught with the blade hovering over his arm and the shout his mother gave made him jump, caused the scratch to turn into a stab.

Blood everywhere, and now she was threatening to have him locked up when it was her fault!

While the doctors were in a flap, Morishige Sakutaro went home to pick up his school bag (his father was away on a business trip and his mother was threatening the hospital staff, so it was a safe bet), changed into his school uniform, thankful the long sleeves hid his fresh bandage (if only they could mask the pain as well. Moving his arm created an awkward jerk, and it was bound to be suspicious) and headed off to school, hopeful the doctors wouldn't check there. Heck, as far as they knew, no child enjoyed school enough to run there when they could have a free day off, and his parents knew he was being bullied there, so they would highly doubt he'd go there for the day after attempting to self harm.

He was aware he'd been a source of stress for his poor mother lately with his growing state of depression. He'd had days of refusing to get up because he just couldn't face the day ahead, days where he'd refused to eat or speak and had undoubtedly been a bit of a failure for her. She would shout that he had nothing to be depressed about as all through his life she had spoiled him rotten, then at the same time tell him to suck it up when he was bullied, even when he had been pushed off the stage in drama club and broken his ankle as a result. She would tell him to stop being such a baby, pull him out of bed on his off days and when really stressed she would even go far enough to force food down his throat before sending him off to school with tears in his eyes and bruises on his arms. It had started getting to the point where he was afraid to return home, but when he asked those he considered to be his friends if he could stay at their place for a night or two, they flat out ignored him.

Even running at top speed, Sakutaro arrived at Kisaragi Academy towards the end of second lesson. He'd hurriedly apologised for his lateness and taken his seat, ignoring the mix of concerned looks and sneers. Well, it wasn't like he'd always been the example of a model student.

Apart from that morning's trip to the hospital and listening to his mother ranting and raving about how she didn't want him, it was a pretty average day. He was tired and hungry throughout, but he could easily endure it, even when Komeda Tamotsu tried to trip him in the halls. Today, his friends decided to have lunch on the roof. He joined them, although he hadn't packed anything to eat. He just stated he didn't feel well, and that was why he had been late that day. Kishinuma joked that it was fair enough as long as Morishige didn't throw up on him, and Mochida bid him to get well soon.

If only he could be so lucky. He was sure he'd been ill since he'd first joined the academy. It hardly helped that the one student able to pull him out of his funk had transferred months ago. She had understood him, always offered kind words to combat the bullying the others rained upon him and practically adored him. She never blew him off when he was down to go watch the latest chick flick or slasher horror.

And unlike mother dearest, she never told him his passion for drama was stupid and pointless, and that he should drop it for something worthwhile. His mother wanted him to become something 'important', like a lawyer or a doctor. She hated the idea of her only son standing up on stage and entertaining hundreds. She never took his dreams seriously, told him to stop being stupid and get his head out of the clouds.

Okay, maybe he was a little bitter. He preferred hanging out with Mayu to being home with a good book any day of the week though.

He really didn't feel like talking to anyone today as they separated into little subgroups in front of him. Even so, the pretense that he was fine paid off. It meant they would still hang around him instead of bullying him for being weak and worthless like everyone else. He tried to join in with the conversation Mochida, Nakashima and Shinohara were having, but they didn't seem to notice he was there. Probably because he wasn't adding anything worthwhile, just standing there trying to get a feel for the conversation. He glanced over at Kishinuma and Shinozaki, but they seemed to be busy fighting. Nothing unusual there.

Just a general, shitty day.

After school, he wandered down by the park, but didn't go home. Home wasn't an option any more, he'd decided. His mother was terrifying and seemed to be out to get him because he wasn't 'grateful' enough. He sat on the swing set an hour or two before going to the shopping centre to use the bathroom and get a few sweets. Not very substantial, and he wouldn't eat them now. They would last a long time, though, and were good for a quick energy boost when he got _really_ hungry. There was no way he'd be able to afford a hotel or decent place to sleep without getting a job first, so he had a choice. Sleep in the park or go to a friend's house late at night so they couldn't turn him down. The second option was liable to have their parents contact his, unless he went to Kishinuma. Kishinuma was unlikely to allow him in, but lived alone and wouldn't rat the runaway out and put him back in danger.

Either way, he would need to stay out a while longer, especially since Kishinuma worked late on Fridays. He had to admit, the prospect of a hot meal and warm bed was one he preferred to sleeping out in the icy autumn night with an empty belly. Of course, that was if Kishinuma was willing to share his food. It was more likely to be crashing on the couch with a few blankets and a glass of water. Still miles better than the alternatives.

Though, of all their usual group, the two of them were the ones who got on the worst. It was seeming more and more likely he'd have to settle for the worst case scenario, which just depressed him further. So it was with low spirits in the dark that night that he made his way to where he believed Kishinuma lived. Midway there, it began to rain. A veritable storm, with thunder and lightning and all. He hugged himself tight for warmth as the cold winds blew through his loose uniform. The rain quickly spattered over his glasses, compromising his sight, but eventually he found the covered area outside the public estate his delinquent classmate lived. Half an hour of locating the corresponding door bell and another 10 minutes non stop ringing later, and he realised it was a lost cause.

He went back the other way eventually, hands in his pockets, head down. It was so cold outside. If he didn't find a decent shelter he would likely catch hypothermia, and he hadn't factored in school with his little runaway plan. He would be reported missing but still turn up at school, and not only that but every morning he would be a disgusting mess of mud three inches thick. The amount of weight he was bound to lose would put him in trouble as well. Sure, his weight was like a yo-yo now, rocketing between underweight and healthy at an alarming rate, but if he lived in the park of all places with just enough money for a few sweets he'd be starved in no time flat. Being caught and taken in scared him. He could end up back with his mother, with foster parents who could even treat him worse or in the hospital ward. Each fear was greater than the last and ran around and around his head. This was a stupid idea to begin with, but he'd felt like he had little other choice. He couldn't go home, he just couldn't! He couldn't go back there. He still had those ugly purple bruises on his arms and chin from mother's last fit of anger towards his depressed state. Before he knew it, tears were tracking down his cheeks, and no amount of wiping and biting his tongue could stop them. He couldn't even stop a small sob escaping his throat. Once again, his pointless life had reached a dead end. He stopped walking, finding himself on a high bridge over a deep, fast running river. He watched it for a while, hands clasped before him as he tried to calm himself down. It didn't work. He just kept thinking about the worst things, the hell his life had become, what he would undoubtedly be met with the next morning...more relentless teasing he couldn't handle and kidding himself that he was friends with those people who ignored him while allowing him to stand and listen to their conversations, those friends he had nothing in common with and couldn't really speak to.

He'd never even told Mayu he'd had thoughts so dark, like the one he had there and then as he stared down at the rushing water and thought that a river that fast and that deep could trap him in the current and take his life and worries away. Swallowing hard, he vaulted the rail, being swift and not hesitating so none of the people driving past would have time to get out and stop him.

Yoshiki had had a really long day. School and work had been irritating as ever, not to mention the sucker punch Ayumi had given him earlier. Still hurt. After that, there had been the wonderful world of working later than normal to make up for a couple of no shows. He'd better get paid overtime for this.

Oh, yes, and now it was absolutely pissing it down. A few steps away from work and already he was soaked. He still had a while to go before he got home. By the time he reached a familiar bridge, he was soaked down to his underwear, his jacket streaming with water it couldn't hold. He wasn't on the bridge yet, but he could see a lone figure stood by the rail, no umbrella or hood. Likely just as soaked. Not that it mattered. He was in a foul mood and another person's discomfort was no concern of his.

At least until the figure on the bridge vaulted the rail and leaped into the water. Yoshiki stared for a moment in shock, waiting for the man to resurface, however when it became clear he wouldn't, he skidded down the bank, wading into the water and as soon as he could, diving in.

Books, sweets and various writing implements washed down the river, and he took a deep breath before going under, searching semi-blindly for the figure who had fallen. All too soon, it seemed like his lungs were burning, but he kept searching until his arms closed around something he hoped was the person's waist. He pulled him up and took a deep breath. He couldn't tell if the other person was breathing or not. He was young, fairly tall and had dark hair. It was a struggle, but Yoshiki was able to drag the limp form to the bank. Someone had seen the boy go over the rails and stopped his car to call an ambulance, thank god. It was dark, hard to see the boy's features. He leaned down to check if the boy was breathing before beginning to push down on the boy's chest. (No way in hell was he going to give this kid mouth to mouth.) The rain kept coming down and after his dip he was freezing and the none too pleasant smell of lake was soaking into him. With every passing second, more and more things that could kill the dark boy who jumped came to Yoshiki's attention. With every passing second, things seemed more and more hopeless.

Some time later, he sat in the waiting area of the emergency department. The boy had been taken to hospital in an ambulance, and seeing the Kisaragi Academy uniform on his body, though soaked and rumpled, Yoshiki had insisted on going with. Besides which, he too needed to be treated for hypothermia. So there he sat, dried off and somewhat warmer, waiting to hear some news on the boy he had dragged out of the river on instinct.

"Kishinuma-kun?"

He looked up as the familiar voice reached his ears. "Shinozaki?" There Ayumi stood, looking concerned.

"Are you okay? What happened, why are you at the hospital?"

"It's...I went into the river by the swim centre."

"Why on Earth would you do something so stupid?"

"Someone jumped off the bridge." He answered before he could stop himself.

"...Who...?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "I didn't want to look at his face...in case it was someone we knew."

"Was he from...?"

"Kisaragi? Yeah..." She went to sit beside him and it occurred to him that she too was in the emergency department. "Why are you here anyway, Shinozaki?"

"My mum burnt herself. I came here with her to make sure she's okay."

He nodded, looking around somewhat miserably. Eventually, a doctor came through, saying they'd stabilised the near-drowned student, but hadn't found any ID on him as his belongings had all been washed away. Yoshiki agreed to go see the other boy, see if he could identify the boy. If he was a friend, Shinozaki would want to see him too. Walking through, he found he could identify the boy at once.

"Morishige?"

Sakutaro opened one eye, but without his glasses, it was clear he couldn't see too well. He had been changed into a dry hospital gown and had plenty of blankets to keep him warm. An oxygen mask was situated over his mouth and nose, and he was still very pale, making the mess of scratches, old and new, on his arms stand out magnificently.

"...Kishinuma..."

"...How are you feeling?"

"...Cold..."

Well, that made sense at least. A doctor came over, a man at least in his 30's with light brown hair in a ponytail.

"Did you say his name was Morishige? His first name wouldn't happen to be Sakutaro, would it?"

"Yes." Yoshiki answered, while at the same time Sakutaro said "No."

They stared at one another and Morishige dragged a finger across his neck, telling the blond boy to keep quiet. The doctor arched an eyebrow.

"No." Yoshiki corrected. "His name is...Satoshi." He managed, thinking fast. "They look a bit alike...I didn't quite recognise him...with the...mask..." It was a pretty transparent lie, but the doctor nodded and turned away nonetheless.

"The two of you have been here quite a while. You must be starving. I'll see if I can get something for you." And with that, he left. Thank god. Yoshiki sat down.

"What was that all about?"

"I was in the hospital this morning...that's why I was late into school. I sneaked out when my mother started to threaten to have me locked up in an asylum..."

"She what?" At least he didn't ask what he was in hospital for...although taking everything into account, he could probably make a good guess.

"That's why I was out this late...I'm not going home with her."

"...That's why you keep asking to stay the night with everyone..." He nodded, and found his eyes drawn to the door. "Ayumi's here...I sort of told her I'd pulled a Kisaragi student from the river and she's pretty worried...mind if she comes in to see you?"

He shook his head. As Yoshiki stood, Morishige stopped him. "Kishinuma...could you get me something to eat from one of the vending machines?"

"The doctor's bringing you dinner."

"Hospital food is vile. Last time I ate some the taste alone was enough to make me throw up." He turned away, reaching down as though to get his bag. "I'll even pay for it...wait, fuck, my bag's not here..."

"Your stuff's probably still in the river, sorry. Couldn't grab it all."

He lay down, cuddling up to his blankets. "You pulled me out, that in itself is...pretty big."

He didn't seem to resent it even though it had been a clear suicide attempt. "I'll see what I can do food-wise."

"Thanks, I haven't had a bite for ages."

Yoshiki nodded, leaving the room and looking for a vending machine on his way back to Ayumi. She came to meet him as he came back to the waiting room.

"How did it go?"

"He's okay. He'll live at least, and he doesn't seem brain damaged." He looked into the vending machine, trying to think what Morishige might like. "Just...scared."

"Scared?"

"He really doesn't want me to give the doctors his real name."

"What's he afraid of?" Then a pause before "You still haven't told _me_ his name!"

"It's Morishige. I think he's scared of his mum." He picked up the chocolate and crisps he'd gotten and led the way back to the ward.

"Morishige?" Shinozaki asked uncertainly as he approached. He glanced over, looking surprised.

"You don't often talk to me." He pointed out dully, startling both his visitors. Realising he'd said something wrong, he apologised softly.

"No, don't be...I just don't like to feel like I'm bothering you is all." She answered. "I don't want to put you in a bad mood."

"...Can I talk to you frankly?"

She gave a slight nod, sitting beside him. "Go ahead. I'm always willing to lend a listening ear and supporting shoulder when needed."

Morishige regarded her curiously before nodding, deciding to trust her.

"I've been asking around for places to stay but no-one can take me in...Suzumoto is too far to ask out of the blue, especially if it yielded only one night...I can't go home. Remember when I said Minami gave me the bruises on my arms and face?" She nodded and he continued. "I lied. I'm sure mother just wanted what was best, but she can get rough when stressed. She's not abusive, she doesn't hit me...but she hates me. She's told me she doesn't want me around. I'm this close to getting kicked out simply because I keep pursuing my dreams with drama...so this was really a long time coming...I don't think I can talk to anyone anyway...and with Minami and Komeda and all that lot constantly trying to beat me senseless, I don't get why I still come to school. I keep hoping that if I stay near you five, I can have someone to talk to, someone to keep me out of this dark space I can't seem to escape...but it doesn't work. I feel like I don't fit in...I feel like I just get in everyone's way."

Shinozaki took his hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "You don't. You...you're just a tricky guy to get...but then depressed people tend to wear a mask, so I don't blame you. You probably aren't even aware you have that mask set up to protect yourself. You're our friend though, Morishige-kun, we love having you around, we really do."

Yoshiki offered the chocolate in his hand and sighed. "I didn't realise it was like that, man. I know what it's like when parents get...nasty. There's spare room at my place, but you probably won't like it there. It's not exactly top quality."

Sakutaro shrugged, tearing open the packaging with starving hands. "I don't care any more."

Suddenly, a bright smile appeared on Ayumi's face. "I know! We haven't seen Mayu in ages, none of us have! We should all arrange a big group outing! It'll be great to have the whole gang together again and it might help keep you in high spirits."

"And we're hardly going to let them lock you on a psych ward." Yoshiki pointed out, smirking. "We'd miss your endless nitpicking keeping us boys from doing something completely stupid." He laughed, but nobody joined in. They were silent for a moment before Morishige looked away.

"Shinozaki...please stop staring at my arms..."

"Sorry..."

"Can...can you both stay a little longer?"

Ayumi and Yoshiki exchanged glances and the latter shrugged, taking a seat. "I have nowhere to go. Staying here with a friend sounds way better than going back out in the rain even for a second. Besides, this place offered me free food, I'm not saying no to that."

This time his joke at least got a smile. Shinozaki hesitated.

"I'm here with my mum, but I'd love to stay if I can though."

"I...appreciate that." Sakutaro mused, hugging his knees to his chest. At least he had back up to keep the doctors from calling his parents. At least he had friends he could talk to and who cared about him.


End file.
